I was never really fat. In fact, most of my life, I was pretty thin. But since the day of my birth, I was very gradually putting on weight. At 5’4” I was at pretty much my heaviest right before I got into this whole thing, at about 140 pounds and pushing a size 8. I wasn’t morbidly obese or anything. But I’m very small boned, so at almost a size 8, I was feeling big and puffy and if I continued by current track, doomed to be seriously chubby in the near future. I gained most of it in my stomach, arms, back and face. I was not bringing booty back. I was bringing face fat back. Which I don’t think was ever really in.

And as many of you know, you don’t have to be obese to feel like crap. Ever since I was a toddler, I had a terrible time with my blood sugar. If I didn’t eat by a certain time, my blood sugar would crash and I would turn into an evil goblin (as would my twin at the exact same time, and we would get into crazy evil goblin twin fights). And if I didn’t eat for like an hour after evil goblin time, I would literally lose my ability to speak, which for a blabbermouth like me was pretty freaky.   

I also had allergic asthma, psoriasis, cystic acne, tension headaches, mood swings and brain fog. Yet most doctors at the time considered me a very healthy patient. My issues were nothing compared to many Americans. Most are on a whole list of pharmaceuticals, including a surprising amount of children. So the fact that I wasn’t regularly taking a bunch of expensive pharmaceuticals made me super health. Pffft.  

I tried going gluten free, on and off, for a few years. I’d done the juicing thing, the calorie counting thing, and the o’l exercise it off thing more than once. But nothing worked long term. And I blamed myself. I wasn’t trying hard enough. I was weak. My clothes don’t fit because I’m a bad person who can’t control myself. Poop on me.

Then sometime in June 2013,  while chatting with my twin sister on the phone, she revealed that she was now drinking butter. For breakfast. For health reasons. My reaction?  “Have you lost your (insert cuss word of choice) mind?”

At this point, if I knew ANYTHING about nutrition, it was that butter was bad. But I happen to think my sister is rather smart (part of that may be because we have identical DNA). So after I got over the initial shock, I decided to investigate further.

A few years, about 30 health books, a primal health coach certification and countless podcasts and blogs later, here I am. I was so excited (and slightly addicted) to learning more because this was the first time health information actually made sense to me. Previous health advice based on calorie counts, crazy cardio workouts, juicing diets, smoothie diets, detox diets, vegan diets and what have you — all of them had logic gaps for me. The results were so different with each person, and my own personal experience with them was frustrating, inconsistent, and in the end, always a failure.

It is possible to use a ton of willpower to force your body to lose weight the hard way. Drinking nothing but vegetable juice for 10 days WILL make you lose weight. But it’s so. freaking. hard. And as you will find out as you learn more about nutrition, it’s really bad for you long term. Health is about a whole lot more than just watching the numbers on the scale go down. And if it’s not sustainable, or takes every ounce of willpower to do it, it’s wrong. Being healthy is supposed to feel good. It’s supposed to feel healthy.

When I eat the right food (which happens to be delicious) and live right (at least most of the time) I feel great. No scale. No calorie counters. No two hours on the treadmill. No shame. No pain. And that’s how it should be for everyone. Yes, even you. I’m here to help make that happen, whether it’s through reading my blog or health coaching practice, I want to help you make healthy happen.